Sunday, 21 February 2010

Nearly a month makes me very angry!

I cannot believe that I have been unable to find time to sit down and blog for nearly a month.

With all the snow, all my deadlines were pushed back so I took advantage of the extra time and made sure my essays were up to as higher standard as I could possibly manage. As soon as that was over I had to prepare myself to write the first draft of my dissertation. A rather daunting task I felt as I had no idea what they were looking for (to be honest I still don't). In addition to this I have been traveling to and from London once a week as I am now have a job there. I work with my Mum and help her out with all the admin stuff that they struggle to find time to do. I quite enjoy the work, I also really enjoy seeing my Mum once a week instead of maybe every 3-4 weeks if we are lucky. All of this has meant my time to blog has been sucked away from me. Also I think when I did have time to relax, stepping away from a computer was much needed, therefore making it hard to upload.

Over the last month I have been feeling increasingly happy. The months before Christmas were consumed with sadness and anger, and basically feeling very low in myself. Now though I seem to be coping much better. I (with the help of lots of people around me and great support from all) have found new ways of coping with the things in life that get me down. I have found new things that make me happy and I have realised that I shouldn't let the sad feelings consume me so much. It has been really nice to feel like my old self again.

A few things that have made me smile this month are:

  • Watching my big sister graduate. I was so very proud of her and I was so honored to be a part of her special day. Watching her walk across that stage after everything she has accomplished was just amazing! It definitely put a smile on my face.
  • Getting a first in my presentation. I really struggled with this presentation, as it was a group piece of work and my group were just useless. 3 days before the presentation they hadn't done any work, which panicked me slightly. It panicked me even more when it came to the day and they still hadn't finished their personal bits. However, when it came to the presentation I pushed that out of my mind and did the best I could for my own piece. It obviously paid off as I did really well.
  • Meeting a guy. I was out one Friday night with Miss Tan and a few other friends and I met this guy. We chatted for a little bit and then he asked for my number. He asked me to go and meet him for a coffee the next day and I had a really good time. We've seen each other a few more times since and we get on really well. Having a bit of interest from someone has really boosted my self-confidence.
  • Finding out when I finish uni. Although the prospect of only having 2 and a half months left of uni is scary, its also nice to finally have a finishing point. To know that after the 26th May, you will find out what the last years have amounted to and grad ball and graduation. I'm strangely excited about it all.
  • Booking a holiday to Australia. My Mum had this conference she wanted to attend in Australia but she didn't want to travel on her own so asked if I would like to go with her. I of course jumped at the chance (well after checking finances and realising it was possible). I haven't been on holiday with my Mum since I was 16 and this is going to be just me and her so I really can't wait. Also we arrive on my birthday, so I'm excited about being there for the celebrations (although I will miss big sis and family of course).
  • Putting more pictures up in my bedroom. The other day when I had a few free minutes from dissertation writing, I grabbed a hammer and banged in some more nails around my room and hung black and white photos of my family around my bedroom. My whole bedroom is black and white and I love having the black and white photos as well. Having pictures of my family surrounding me makes me very happy. I have lots of my Dad as well and they make me smile a lot.
  • MAC purchases. I have treated myself to a few little beauties from MAC to reward myself for the work I had done. I brought 2 lipsticks. My sister advised me at Christmas that lipstick looked good on me and that I should wear it more often. So I took her advice and purchased 2 gorgeous colours: M.A.C Red and Hang-Up.
  • Spending more time with an old friend. As I'm sure I've said before one of my best mates lives with my ex, making our friendship quite complicated. However, this month we have been speaking and seeing a lot more of each other. My friends are really important to me and being able to spend more time with this friend in particular really makes me smile.
  • Lunches with my travel buddy. Last July I went on holiday with one of my friends from uni for 5 weeks. We went to Japan, Australia and Thailand. Recently we have been meeting up for regular lunches and catch ups. It has been so nice spending time with her again. After our holiday being away from each other was hard. We were so used to each others company and seeing each other everyday. Then when uni started up we both became really busy and had very little spare time. We both said at Christmas that it must change and we have defo made sure of that.
I'm sure there are more things that have made me happy but for now these will have to do. I think one major thing that I have forgotten, is that me being happy makes me feel good. It makes me think that I have accomplished something after feeling so awful for so long. For once I did something about it, I didn't just find ways to not deal with it. I worked through it all. xxx

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